Important April News

MRT LAUNCHES HELIUM INJECTED CANOPY TO BEAT GVM

In an industry first, MRT have launched the world’s first helium filled canopy to help customers meet GVM requirements. Included in their new ‘Weightsaver’ model, is a helium tank, which automatically activates once the canopy doors are closed. An MRT representative said: “An entire dual cab canopy fitted with the helium injection unit can save up to 350kg on the back end of your 4X4”. However, feedback from owners has been mixed. Customer Barry Gomez from Blacktown NSW said: “Handling can get pretty floaty once the helium kicks in. It’s turned my Ranger into a more multi-purpose vehicle though. I’m now taking my rig down to Eastern Creek on Thursday nights to go drifting”. Nice work Barry, nice work. 

#GVM

ENGEL FINALLY REALISE THEIR BUSINESS MODEL STINKS

It has taken Engel 60 years to finally realise that they should have built fridges that break down and fail after a few years. Then they can give people a reason to buy the new ones. Engel rep Craig F said: “It dawned on me the other day while flicking a lure. All of these 30 year old fridges that are out there, means less people to buy a new one. We’ve been doing it all wrong for years!” Unfortunately, with only one moving part in the Sawafuji compressor, Engel engineers were unable to reduce the service life of the fridge. “We tried, but we’re not sure how those other companies do it. But they do have lots of other moving parts to play with, so maybe that’s how they can make ’em break after a couple of years”. 

PAT RELEASES SOLO ALBUM

‘Mr 4X4’ Pat Callinan has released his first solo album, entitled “This bush gotta be trimmed”. The title comes from Pat’s passionate campaign to allow four-wheel drivers to carry chainsaws in National Parks. 

The entire album was recorded while Pat was naked in an ice bath, with the star saying that the shivering actually helped his vibrato. He describes his style as ‘acid funk with a hint of gum leaves’, whatever that means… 

The album is available to download exclusively on MySpace.

BUSHWAKKA RELEASE ‘BUSH DOOF’ EDITION ROOFTOP TENT

In their attempt to broaden market share and appeal to a younger market, Bushwakka have launched the ‘Bush Doof’ Edition rooftop tent. The new rooftopper comes with a 12-volt vibrating bed, mirror ball, and strobe lights. Buyers for the month of April will receive a free awning, complete with LED-infused Stripper Pole.

Bushwakka MD Johnny Loots said: “These young tradies and Fifo workers have got enough money for Ketamine and cocaine, but it’s difficult to use those banned substances while you’re still living at home. So we’re providing a solution, where a drug-addled weekend can be disguised as a wholesome camping trip”.

4X4 INFLUENCER BUILDS UNIQUE ACCESSORY NOT FOUND ON ALIBABA

Actually, no one will believe that…